I Posted something

I'm still alive, ready to speak volumes to my non-existent audience! YES!

Anyways my baseball obsession has kicked in again, and, well, I've decided to scribe out some BS about the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim - aka, the only sports team name that requires you to take more than two breaths when you say it.

Recent rumors out of LAA land suggest that the Angels are targeting a third baseman. Since A-God realized that his buxom she-male blonde lived in New York and that if he moved to Irvine he wouldn't have extensive access to her and resigned with the Yankees the Angels seem to have two new third basemen in their sights. One is the shitastic Mike Lowell and the other is Dominican Marlin himself Miguel Cabrera. Now, let me be frank, Mike Lowell sucks, and if the Angels give him 55 million or whatever the hell he's asking for they're idiots. He's 32 and managed 120 RBI, because, well, he's right handed and plays in Boston. Hell Dontrelle Willis could pound out 120 RBI in that situation. So, Arte, if you were to sign Lowell for 55 million he'll probably suck and you'll end up dressing him like Mickey Mouse or something for creative cross-marketing purposes just to recoup the losses.

Miguel Cabrera on the other hand - well actually I'm not to sure about him. All signs point to yes, yes, oh Jesus yes mortgage the farm, sell the Volvo and find some way to get him. 24 year old third basemen with his skills don't exactly grow on trees. However, the Marlins are psychotic or something because they seem to be expecting not only Howie Kendrick, our oft-injured jesus second basemen and Brandon Wood, the k-tastic power prospect but they also expect Nick Adenhart who, unlike Ervin "Magicless" Santana, might actually live up to the hype. Giving up that much should make any GM hesitate. And, it should, especially, make the Angels GM (whose name i no longer know - regan or something) hesitate considering how miserably these kinds of things have gone.

And so, after that lengthy tirade I present the worst deals the Angels have ever made (in my lifetime that is)!!

5. March 5, 1990; Released Robinson Checo:
Why Doug Rader why? How could you release a guy with a hardass name like that. Sure he didn't make it to the majors until 1996 and even then only played three years and had a sparkling 7.61 era, but still, his name was Robinson. He might not have struck out many batters but goddamnit, he struck a chord in my heart!
4. March 14, 1991; Traded Dante Bichette to the Milwaukee Brewers for Dave Parker:
This one made total sense. Let's see Dante Bichette is 26 years old and had the third most homers on our team in 1990. Dave Parker is like 72, really sucks and likes cocaine. How can you not make that deal? My theory is that they weren't trading for Dave Parker but they were, rather, trading for Dave Parker's beard.
3. June 3, 1991; Drafted Eduardo Perez, Jorge Fabregas, Chris Pritchett, Chris Turner, Mark Sweeney, Shad Williams and Jacob Cruz.
Ouch. Who was running this draft - Mitch Kupchack? On the plus side Chris Pritchett, while playing only 61 real major league games, was a total monster in Baseball Mogul 1998.
2. March 23, 2000; Traded Jim Edmonds to the St. Louis Cardinals for Kent Bottenfield and Adam Kennedy:
I guess Adam Kennedy only kind of sucked but for christs sake he was the afterthought in this deal. The center-pieces were Edmonds and Bottenfield, best known to Angels fans as that fat guy we traded for that other fat guy Ron Gant. I"m not sure what part of Bottenfield's track record made the Angels actually think he could replicate his infamous 18 win season of 1999. Maybe it was the 5.07 ERA he posted in 1993. Actually, i'm guessing they assumed Troy Glaus would share his stash with Kent or that the threat of Mo Vaughn devouring his left leg would motivate him or something.
1. Speaking of...
December 11, 1991; Sign Mo Vaughn for a hell of a lot of money:
At the time this deal had me moderately excited. Mo Vaughn after all kicked ass. But, he was also a fatass, and that was the part that bit the Angels in the ass when he took the tumble heard round the world down those dugout steps. Anyways, The Hit Dog played a couple years in Anaheim ate a couple hundred Angels dogs and was promptly shuffled off to the Mets for the almost as crappy Kevin Appier. But, at least they didn't spend that money on Kevin Brown right?