Tuesday, March 27, 2007

AN ARMY OF 300!!! Or something...

So yeah, just the other day i went to see a little flick that just came out. I don't think it's very popular or anything, because it's like an avant garde art flick inspired by the works of Jean Luc Godard. Or that last sentence could be a total lie (which it is). The movie i saw was the blockbuster 300 and let me tell you it was an arm (and leg, and head( severing good time. But this isn't a movie review. If it was i would be using English major words like "brilliant", "good", and "totally fucking balls out nuts".

Rather I'd like to write about the reaction to 300. You see after I watch a movie some weird part of me demands that I go onto IMDB.com to see if my valuation of the movie compares favorably with all the other amateur cinephiles out there. So, after i saw 300 I went home and loaded up the old IMDB. For those of you who know IMDB, and everyone in the universe should, it has a function that allows IMDB members to post their thoughts and opinions about the movie. Usually these boards are filled with flamers, film-bashers, the easily offended and the straight up, certifiable insane (or at least people who play that part on the internet). So anyways, 300 had its big uppers and its flamers but to my surprise it also had some of the "easily offended".

So what were these people taking offense to? Was it the glorification of violence? Was it the slow motion decapitations? Was it the inferred paedophilia? No, it was Iranians getting irate about how Persians were portrayed in the movie!

The Iranians point is that the Persians in the movie were being paraded as bloodthirsty savage, barely human psychopaths whose only goal in life is to maim the enemy and be enveloped in the folds of flesh found in a Persian harem. Now, I'll be truthfull, that is how Persians were portrayed (though i thought they were totally awesome, i can understand how Persian people might be offended by the representation).

But we're not talking about Persian people that were offended here, we're talking about Iranians! What Iran doesn't seem to realize, apparently, is that America is full of dumbasses. While i was watching the movie I wasn't thinking, boy those Iranians are evil, we should go over to their country and rape their women and plunder the oil (and George Bush should drink the blood of every single Iranian man, woman and child while he's at it). No, I was thinking, boy those PERSIANS, sure do kick some major ass, even though they're evil. You see, i have a college degree; I've taken many world history courses (i really like history) and my best friend in junior high was even an Iranian-American named Javad Shekafroush who used to regale me with stories about how he and his uncles would wander the street in roving gangs back in the home country. And, despite this, while watching the movie 300, my mind never said, "hey wait a minute, Persia is ancient history's version of Iran-THOSE GREEKS ARE FIGHTING IRANIANS!!!! OMFG". I was thinking, wow, he just chopped off the head of that guy that looks like that guy from Mortal Kombat. And, after all, it's not like 300 is meant to be a though provoking piece filled with social commentary on why the world is as the world is; rather its simply an excuse to show various limbs being severed in slow motion. Now I know that Iran was once called Persia, but I didn't watch the movie for a geography lesson. I didn't even think about such ancestries until I saw the IMDB complaints. As such I'm pretty sure that the only way the average American is going to equate those evil Persians with modern day Iranians is if those Iranians kindly point out the facts on the IMDB message board.

After all, we didn't go to 300 to think, we went to see boobs and blood, and to hear that dramatic sounding British guy shout out cliches we can use in our everyday life.

So in conclusion, "madness, This is Sparta!!"

Ok that made no sense.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Song of the week...yet again

This week I'm going to feature a song from the pop/countryish band with the long cumbersome name. That band, of course, is The Snake, The Cross, The Crown. My knowledge of TSTCTC dates back several years when I randomly purchased their first EP. I liked it, and when their last full length Mander Sails was released in 2004 I eagerly purchased it on release day. Now, while Mander Sails was pretty good I couldn't help but shake the feeling that the band was more talented then their recording shows.

Now, just last week, TSTCTC has released its third album, and i can honestly say that any talent that seemed buried on Mander Sails shines through brightly on this new release, Cotton Teeth. The album is catchy twangy and just an overall good time

This particular song is from Cotton Teeth. It is named Behold The River and is one of my, personal, favorite tracks from the album.

You can buy The Snake, The Cross, The Crown's uniformly excellent Cotton Teeth
here
.










Monday, March 19, 2007

Radio Schmadio

Los Angeles Radio.

At one time it was a proud institution. We had The Real Don Steele (I wonder who the fake one was), Charlie Tuna, Phil Hendrie and that one psycho guy who always talks about alien invasions and the like. Honestly, though, despite my honeyed nostalgia I never actually listened to any of these personalities (with the exceptions being Hendrie and Steele) I just know they sound vaguely familiar and thusly provide a jumping off point for this post.

Which leads me to the purpose of this post - to skewer Los Angeles-based radio. Anyone that lives in Los Angeles knows that while LA does offer a wide variety of sounds for a diverse listening audience there is generally one commonality between all stations broadcasting to the large LA area. That commonality is that they all suck. Seriously, seriously suck. Now, I'll admit that my tastes don't really fall into the spectrum of what generally is played on the radio. After all, right now I'm listening to Arcade Fire (a band that's never played on LA radio despite the fact they aren't even close to being considered unknowns right now). As far as my knowledge of Los Angeles radio goes all stations that I've heard are either contemporary Christian, incessant mariachi, testosterone driven guitar riffs placed over raucous drumming or a veritable smorgasbord of crappiness being played on one of those damn "Jack" stations (I'll miss you Arrow FM).

Those that live in the LA area know that new rock/pop music (I'm ignoring R&B and Hip/Hop because I don't listen to those genres much) is only really played on two stations. Crappy KIIS FM and equally crappy KROQ. KIIS FM's crappiness is understandable - Ryan Seacrest is their morning DJ after all - so the less said about that mess the better. Suffice it to say that if you're not interested in independent though or find 14 year old girls calling in to report someone picking their nose while driving on the freeway stimulating than KIIS is definitely for you. And they play Nickelback - a lot!

KROQ, on the other hand, is a more sad display of the downfall of LA radio. For those who don't know KROQ is Los Angeles' "alternative" station. The stations has a long and storied history and, if I am to believe Wikipedia, played a large part in bringing bands like the Ramones and The Talking Heads to the public's attention. KROQ, however, has not aged well. They were once a station devoted to playing "all-cutting-edge-rock-all-the-time" and now all they do is put Fall Out Boy on ad-naseum briefly intercutting those songs with the fresh new sounds of Nirvana. Now, I don't know about the rest of the world but a band loses its "alternative" status once the fifth poorly acted biopic is released straight to video and the deceased lead singer's diary entries are packaged together and sold at Barnes & Noble on the cheap. The only on-air link to KROQ's storied past is DJ Rodney Biggenheimer (I think his show has a catchy name but I forget it) and, to be honest, that guy can get really annoying. He has deemed himself the "king of Hollywood" or something, despite the fact that his show has been relegated to the midnight hour on Sunday nights. His playlists, while the songs can be good, end up sucking because his personality is so grating. The "Prince of Pop" my ass (if you read that sentence without the quotes it sound kind of funny).

Apparently however, there is a ray of hope for Southern California radio. It is called Indie 103.1. It's supposed to be really great, they play all kinds of obscure music and even give away free t-shirts and stuff at Knott's Berry Farm. One of the guys from the Sex Pistols DJ's during the daytime and his show is supposed to be awesome. The only problem is that Indie 103.1 only broadcasts over what I must assume is a 10 square mile radius, because it seems that no matter where I go I can't get a fucking signal. I can be in Riverside, I can be in Anaheim, I can be 10 miles from Los Angeles because I just accidentally took the wrong freeway on-ramp and all I will be able to hear is static and the faded sounds of a Mariachi accordion.

So, to put it succinctly musical LA radio sucks! You'd be better off paying for it, or only listening to talk radio in my honest opinion.

Unless of course you really dig the guitarra. In that case you're golden.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

A Tale of Two Cities - Set in One City

Anyone that lives in or around that buzzing metropolis called Los Angeles knows that it is essentially a two-faced city. The first face is the obvious one, that of the bleeding heart liberal championing environmental causes while promoting their newest "edgy" thriller/comedy/sexploitation film out of the back of their 50,000 dollar H3. This is affectionately known as the Hollywood face, and, though I'm generally dismissive of these people I also identify more with them then with Los Angeles' other face. After all, sometimes, when Hollywood celebrities and University professors aren't championing century old causes or adopting a harem of foreign children they do do some good to the world. More than me of course, but a single methane producing cow probably has more world impact then my sorry ass at this point.

The other face is one that most people would not readily associate with California. However, anyone that drives on California's maze-like freeway systems knows who I'm talking about. They're the guys (or girls) sporting a Jesus fish on the back of their mini-van as they drive home from work at 2 in the morning after banging their underage secretary. They're the jackasses with the shaved head and the goatee that have an Iron Cross plastered on the rear window of their car who only associate the symbol with a skateboarding company (though they themselves have never skated in their lives) blatantly ignoring the fact that the Kaiser's Germany used the same symbol during the devastating World War One. They're the guys that drive raised Chevy Silverado's who don't turn their fucking brights off when they're tailgating you in the far right lane of a three lane freeway at 2 in the morning. They are the people that take up three parking spaces at the local Target. They are the people that make California a miserable place to live.

The whole point of this tirade starts with the fact that California is a beautiful place. The sun shines almost year round (though it does get pretty miserable down here in the Inland Empire during the summer months)and when it rains its refreshing (and also exciting, apparently, as the local news have 24 hour storm-watches set up in case of a light drizzle) and the beach is close (though i hate the beach) and Disneyland is close (though i hate Disney) and the great interesting cities of Los Angeles, San Diego and San Francisco are always in (rather) close proximity. It ends with the fact that California is oftentimes a miserable place as well. People, for the most part, have no regard for each other. I saw this today when some 17 year-old broadsided a truck and both sides reacted by screaming and yelling at each other instead of asking whether or not the other party was hurt (though me and my friend Mark performed this role adequately enough). I mean, for christssake it's just a fucking car and you were both driving like fucking morons to cause the accident. At least show a little concern before bitching about the large hunk of metal you were driving in an idiotic manner. Though i must say, the guy in the truck was less reactionary, but he didn't speak a lick of English which probably explains his relative silence.

The point ends with this: the sad thing is that displays like this are not an uncommon thing in California. All one needs to do is drive on the 91 freeway at six in the afternoon. Not only will you get to see random unsignaled lane changes by cell-phone chatting motorists wearing sunglasses (though the sun is dropping down) but you'll also get to see the tags on the freeway signs (because that shiny silver plastic is obviously worth claiming) and the cop that pulled over a black guy because he has a hold in his rear headlight while blissfully ignoring the ad executive in the Toyota Tundra weaving in and out of traffic at 83 miles per hour. I guess the message is this: before you flip that one fingered salute out your window; before you yell some random racial epithet out your driver-side window and before you cut off that minivan with the seven kids that's only going 60 in the slow lane think - is this really the person I want to be? Would i want someone to act this way to me or to my sister or to my son? Is it really worth going out of my way to try and make someone else's life a little more miserable? Don't we all already have it bad enough? For Godssake just show a little courtesy - It's not that hard.

Oh, and you could get shot for those things too.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Song Of The Week Redux

As promised here is part two of my famous (not really) two-part, Song of the Week marathon. This track comes from party animal/artiste Andrew WK. Yes, that Andrew WK -the one who was sporadically popular and, for some reason, reminded everyone of a dirtier/bloodier Lenny Kravitz like 3 years ago.

Anyways, this song is from Andrew WK's Close Calls With Brick Walls, which, at least to my knowledge, has only been released in Japan so far. There is however, a US release scheduled for June 19th of this year and, if what I'm reading is true, it will be a super-special double gatefold golden edition put out by Load records of all people (they do after all, carry noise rock savants Lightning Bolt). At some point in time you will be able to buy that super sexy edition
here
.

So get your fists pumping and smash your head into the drunk guy next to you as you listen to Not Going to Bed from Andrew WK.










Song of the Week

I think i missed a song last week, so I'll post two for this week. The first one is a track from Englands The Crimea. It is from 2004's thoroughly excellent LP Tragedy Rocks. The album can be bought
here
.

The song is called Bombay Sapphire Coma, and, fair warning, it's hella catchy so enjoy.










Sunday, March 11, 2007

SXSW

Oh man, SXSW starts this weekend. I would give almost anything, even one of my legs (at least the left one) to be there. As a Californian i guess i am privileged to have the coachella festival so close by, but honestly, i've always been jealous of SXSW. Perhaps the reason is that almost every band that plays SXSW is independent, which would almost guarantee an attendee a chance to see at least one new band every night.

Also, based on my past investigations into SXSW, its fairly obvious that any band that i have any level of interest in plays there. Bear Vs Shark, when they existed, performed at SXSW, Ben Kweller, before he was fashionable like Ray Lamontagne, played there, The Glass, who are incredibly obscure, played there, and Zykos, whom i've never had a chance to see live, play there every year, probably because they are from Texas. I'm also relatively certain that Zookeeper, with the lead singer of Mineral, is playing there this year, which would be nice to see since i missed his recent show in LA.

So, to all you who live near Austin and get to experience the madness that is SXSW, let me just say, i'm very jealous, and you suck.

Friday, March 2, 2007

Song of the week

So, this week my favorite song happens to be from venerated indie rock band Cloud Cult. Cloud Cult is the project of activist/multi-talented artist Craig Minowa. In 2002 Minowa's two-year-old son died, and his work, since then, has been marked by his reflections on life and death. His group's new album, The Meaning of 8 is due out everywhere on April 10th, though you can already buy a digital copy of the cd
here
.

So without further ado, here is is, Chemicals Collide from Cloud Cult's forthcoming album, The Meaning of 8.










You know, a kid finds a dead bird, you give him 20 bucks for it

So today I was watching, what i believe, to be the most underrated cartoon in the existence of mankind.

I know, everyone's thinking HENTAI, he's talking about HENTAI, but, regrettably I'm not. Seeing a Japanamated Jasmine engaging in anal sex with Goofy just doesn't do it for some (myself included) i guess.

I'm talking about the erstwhile, the classic, MTV vehicle for moronic mischeif, Beavis and Butthead. I, personally, am a proud owner of all three DVD volumes of Beavis and Butthead, and, am slightly offended whenever anyone dismisses Beavis and Butthead as little more than celluloid garbage. Yes, the plotlines are fiber-thin, yes there is no redeeming educational or artistic value but you know what, sometimes those things aren't needed to enjoy something. Anyone that liked Independence Day will know what i'm talking about.

However, admitting that Beavis and Butthead has no "educational or artistic value" ignores the aspect of the show that even creator Mike Judge believes redeems it (or, at least, elevates it above the "celluloid trash" label). That aspect is, social commentary. For an example of this one only needs to watch the episode of Beavis and Butthead in which America's (at least at one point in time) two favorite neandrathals watch a discovery channel special on Benjamin Franklin and immediately decide to imitate Franklin's iconic lightning striking a key experiment. Beavis and Butthead are, predictably enough, struck by lightning and immediately taken to the ER, where a stereotypical crusader against violence in television accosts the two asking them what they were imitating when they were fried by lightning. Getting no answer (beavis and butthead are, after all, bumbling idiots) she assumes that their inspiration was evil, diabolical, music videos.

In fact the whole concept of Beavis and Butthead could be viewed as a sort of social commentary. The irony of the show is that no matter how stupid its main characters act there is, in all probability, someone just as stupid in the real world. After all, haven't we all known, as some point in time, someone stupid enough to stick a firecracker up their ass? And if you don't know someone like that how can you say you've truly lived? You see Beavis and Butthead's animated idiocy and you think, damn how stupid can you get, all the while conveniently forgetting that, after about eight shots of tequila, that tractor tire does look stable enough to ride down dead man's bluff.

It is things like this that i believe should place Beavis and Butthead into the higher echelon of animated television. Not on the level of the Simpsons (circa 1997), perhaps, but definitely up there with the Family Guy's of the world. Now go watch the episode where they decide which dog to adopt from the pound based on whether or not he bites Beavis' hand.