Radio Schmadio

Los Angeles Radio.

At one time it was a proud institution. We had The Real Don Steele (I wonder who the fake one was), Charlie Tuna, Phil Hendrie and that one psycho guy who always talks about alien invasions and the like. Honestly, though, despite my honeyed nostalgia I never actually listened to any of these personalities (with the exceptions being Hendrie and Steele) I just know they sound vaguely familiar and thusly provide a jumping off point for this post.

Which leads me to the purpose of this post - to skewer Los Angeles-based radio. Anyone that lives in Los Angeles knows that while LA does offer a wide variety of sounds for a diverse listening audience there is generally one commonality between all stations broadcasting to the large LA area. That commonality is that they all suck. Seriously, seriously suck. Now, I'll admit that my tastes don't really fall into the spectrum of what generally is played on the radio. After all, right now I'm listening to Arcade Fire (a band that's never played on LA radio despite the fact they aren't even close to being considered unknowns right now). As far as my knowledge of Los Angeles radio goes all stations that I've heard are either contemporary Christian, incessant mariachi, testosterone driven guitar riffs placed over raucous drumming or a veritable smorgasbord of crappiness being played on one of those damn "Jack" stations (I'll miss you Arrow FM).

Those that live in the LA area know that new rock/pop music (I'm ignoring R&B and Hip/Hop because I don't listen to those genres much) is only really played on two stations. Crappy KIIS FM and equally crappy KROQ. KIIS FM's crappiness is understandable - Ryan Seacrest is their morning DJ after all - so the less said about that mess the better. Suffice it to say that if you're not interested in independent though or find 14 year old girls calling in to report someone picking their nose while driving on the freeway stimulating than KIIS is definitely for you. And they play Nickelback - a lot!

KROQ, on the other hand, is a more sad display of the downfall of LA radio. For those who don't know KROQ is Los Angeles' "alternative" station. The stations has a long and storied history and, if I am to believe Wikipedia, played a large part in bringing bands like the Ramones and The Talking Heads to the public's attention. KROQ, however, has not aged well. They were once a station devoted to playing "all-cutting-edge-rock-all-the-time" and now all they do is put Fall Out Boy on ad-naseum briefly intercutting those songs with the fresh new sounds of Nirvana. Now, I don't know about the rest of the world but a band loses its "alternative" status once the fifth poorly acted biopic is released straight to video and the deceased lead singer's diary entries are packaged together and sold at Barnes & Noble on the cheap. The only on-air link to KROQ's storied past is DJ Rodney Biggenheimer (I think his show has a catchy name but I forget it) and, to be honest, that guy can get really annoying. He has deemed himself the "king of Hollywood" or something, despite the fact that his show has been relegated to the midnight hour on Sunday nights. His playlists, while the songs can be good, end up sucking because his personality is so grating. The "Prince of Pop" my ass (if you read that sentence without the quotes it sound kind of funny).

Apparently however, there is a ray of hope for Southern California radio. It is called Indie 103.1. It's supposed to be really great, they play all kinds of obscure music and even give away free t-shirts and stuff at Knott's Berry Farm. One of the guys from the Sex Pistols DJ's during the daytime and his show is supposed to be awesome. The only problem is that Indie 103.1 only broadcasts over what I must assume is a 10 square mile radius, because it seems that no matter where I go I can't get a fucking signal. I can be in Riverside, I can be in Anaheim, I can be 10 miles from Los Angeles because I just accidentally took the wrong freeway on-ramp and all I will be able to hear is static and the faded sounds of a Mariachi accordion.

So, to put it succinctly musical LA radio sucks! You'd be better off paying for it, or only listening to talk radio in my honest opinion.

Unless of course you really dig the guitarra. In that case you're golden.